Six Packs crying hoarse !

Truth be told. Once upon a time I was an owner of those wonderful six packs.( No,this is not an April Fool Joke,Seriously). I loved it so much that I decided to hide it below layers of fat, for God knows how long. When still young they were there for all to see, not any more.

Then, one day, I look down and there is a little bulge above my waistline. What's that, I wonder? Where did that come from, and why is it there? I don't like it, so I go to the gym or for a run or cut back on Chocolates and ice cream. But still, those pants that fit last summer are so darn tight. It must be the dryer, I say to myself, damn that shrinking cotton. Or maybe there are tiny creatures in my closet that sew my clothes each night a little tighter. No matter how hard you try they have a life of their own.Stubborn.The bulge gets larger and larger.

And in the hurly burly of the daily life routine I almost forgot all about them. Poor creature (Six packs).I should have taken proper care of them and should have shown them the light of the day. And now, those six packs of mine have started crying hoarse. They have put their foot down and are screaming and shouting ad nauseam.

”We’ve had enough of it,' they surmise, “You don’t expect us to stay there hidden below your layers of fat for all time to come. We have a life of our own which we would like to flaunt too.’

Now this was getting out of hand, I thought. I've tried sit-ups (doesn't work), yoga (nothing). Maybe one of my friends would know what to do? (They didn't). Maybe Oprah had the secret solution? (Nope).

I sought wife’s advice as to how to go about it: “Avoid walking towards the fridge more often, for all I know that walking more often to fridge is not considered as exercise “

Okay.Point taken.Next.”You should not make your own tea first thing in the morning!

But what has the morning tea got to do with my fat around the girth? I ask of her.

It’s not morning tea that is harmful, but the trouble is the moment you take that milk out of the fridge and then you see that malai , there lays the trouble. Again seeing that malai is not harmful, but the problem with you is that you eat it too..That is why I say you should not make your morning tea”

Damn. Now I know where that SATAN called FAT resides…In my fridge and specially in that malai.

You know I have developed this phobia for weighing scales too. Now there are people who would just hop onto the weighing scale without much ado, even after a seven course dinner and still weigh 500gms more or less. 

And when I step on the scale. I do so lightly (no pun intended). I need a proper emotional preparation before I embark upon a weighing scale. I cross my finger,say a small prayer, wear the lightest of clothes, remove my shoes, If I could temporarily donate a kidney, I would, so that the weighing scale does not tilt too much towards the right. But to no avail. And I always come down cursing the scale!!

Be still my beating heart. Where’s my nerve tonic? “Things are not bad as you assume. You will make it. All is well, All is well” I murmur.

I then seriously resolved that enough is enough.

I started calling shots and explained it to the bulge that I am not taking it lying down and it should know who the BOSS is. The Gym timing was considerably enhanced.(I would even sleep on a treadmill if need be). Walks to fridge cut down by almost half. The morning tea sans malai was the order of the day. The trick seems to be working. Showing VISIBLE results.

One reason for my more than reasonable shaping up is also attributed to the month of March, an examination season when Junk foods are avoided so that the child does have all the healthy food and in my case specially it was the March Fever, where in you are suppose to do the LUNGI DANCE. Paying taxes and balancing accounts kept me so busy that food was the last thing on my agenda.

Now having shaped up let me wallow a bit in my new found vanity and flaunt till it lasts.May be taking a couple of Selfies will massage my ego.

Having gained that tag of healthy(errm),now if only I could figure out how to be wealthy and wise,life would be really good.

Until such time please bear with my stupidity.!!