Marriages are made in Heaven

Here's a wonderful piece on Marriage and its concomittant responsibilities by my favorite columnist of Times of India .She has a perfect sense of humor which is rare and is endowed with a great gift of gab
I've enjoyed the article thoroughly and I hope you'll all cherish it as well

The Boy Gets a Bride

I’ll manage without a sermon, you’ll say, but I’ll say it anyway. Tell you that there are myriad little things you must learn to forget. And some big things you must never forget to remember.

Like today’s magical moment. Never forget what the two of you went through simply to arrive at the start of this journey. Work as assiduously to keep the relationship as you did to get it. Keep the faith, and keep earning the trust. Remember that happiness is not something that just happens without any effort on your part.

She’s a girl who will seek out your hand at every turn. Don’t mistake this for weakness. Honour it as her strength---it’s her generosity that makes so much room for you in her life. Savour it, but remember that she’ll suffocate if you don’t give her some personal space. Work out give and take early, when discussion hasn’t atrophied into demand. Marriage is much more fun as an equation. You have the examples. Follow them

You’ve survived a working mother without serious damage, so you shouldn’t have trouble adjusting to a career wife. Encourage such support can achieve. She may, in the hormonal smother of motherhood, want to be nothing more. It’ll be easy to concur. But stand up to the temptation, and say,” Get thee behind me, disposable diapers.”

As soon as she is able, push her back to celebrate her other talents. It will help you as much to grow. And stop you from lapsing into the spurious complacence of thinking you can play parent by proxy.

Remember that no amount of sugary condescension is a substitute for treating her as equal. You’ll scoff now at the need for such advice, but later you just might assume that respect is a one-way street. If you do, you’ll discover it to be a dead end.

But in all this equality, still see yourself as the provider. Of all material comforts, yes. But more so of companionship. Invest time in your kids as much as you financially secure their future. Consciously build a portfolio of memorable moments. This is what will glow_ and glue together when so much seems so darkly to fall apart.

Finally, remember, to laugh. With her. There isn’t a better marriage counselor that I can think of. Apart, that is, from your Mom.OK Kiddo, end of a lecture. N joy.

LOVE & HATE

The Journalistic community just got richer by a new word "Jarnailism" after Jarnail Singh"s "Shoe Gate " episode.All the news channels and newspaper worth their salt or should I say worth their shoe had it covered from tip to toe,was it worth it ,its a different question.

Who is to blame ,the journo who threw the shoes or the minister who wanted to shoo away from the uncomfortable question?

The debate on the above subject shall go on for time immemorial ,and if the government has taken 25 years to come to the conclusion on sikh carnage and still counting who says there is a future for this country.

With election round the corner Love and Hate speeches are flying thick and fast,while going thro the Times of india I came across a beautiful article by my favourite columnist Jug suraiya and the way he has presented the Love and Hate relationship is worth pondering over

I've decided to paste below the relevant portion of his column for you .I've loved it and I hope you'll cherish it as well.

"What is the source of this power that hate has over us? Hate is born out of fear; that which we fear is that which we hate: people who belong to a religion different from ours, or who belong to a different country, or who speak a different language. The hated Other helps us identify ourselves as a caste, or a community, or a nation, or as speakers of a particular language or believers in a specific ideology or faith-system. Hate seems to be based on an inbuilt defence mechanism that promotes self-preservation. Compared to the reverse magnetism of hate, love appears to be a weak and flaccid force. For all the exhortations of sages and saints through the ages to love our fellow human beings, love doesn't bind us together anywhere near as strongly as hate does. Try as we might, most of us can manage to love only a very few people in our lives: our family, maybe a few friends. Love is a strictly rationed commodity. Hate, on the other hand, is like an inexhaustible supply of renewable energy. We can hate large numbers of people: people who belong to different religions, or have a different colour of skin, or who vote for a different political party. All human organisations religions, nations, communities, political parties use the inverse gravitation of hate in order to cohere together. A family or a nation can have many internal bickerings and quarrels which no amount of love of family or love of nation can overcome. But the moment a feared, and therefore hated, neighbour attacks, the family or the nation sticks together in a newfound self-protective solidarity, spawned not by love but by its reverse. Perhaps the cruellest paradox of the power of hate is religion. All religions begin by teaching universal love; all religions to some extent or other end up preaching and practising hatred and intolerance of those who belong to other sects. Take away hate and you take away 90 per cent of religion. And the 10 per cent left would be like the khichri for the soul dished out by Deepak Chopra. So let's not blame Varun Gandhi for spreading hate. Hate spreads pretty well by itself with very little help from us. And will continue to do so, till we figure why it is that we love to hate each other. "
Happy reading ,long live Jug suraiya

In a lighter vein

Father Jorris St Xavier's college Calcutta
Father Jorris has been a Cult figure in the realm of education and specially a person responsible for making St Xavier;s college /school what it is today, taking it to the pinnacle of its glory.

 Long back St.Xavier's college was not a Co ed institution and over a period of time its Science and Arts faculties were turned in to Co education.

 The Commerce brats got exasperated at such a decision since they had to suffer and take the canteen route to see the beauties of Calcutta.(Yours sincerely was also a member of the commerce faculty brat).

 They finally decided and met Father Jorris to air their grievances...they asked him why this step motherly treatment to the commerce faculties whereas the guys from science and arts were having fun time.

 Father Joris was at his best and he listened carelly to all of them and slowly took them all towards the front gate of  St. Xavier's college . Now all those who know the College are aware that there is Police Station just opposite the College Gate (Park Street Police Station)

He in his own inimitable style said to the boys ...."LOOK BOYS WHEN THAT POLICE STATION TURNS INTO A MATERNITY HOME I SHALL DEFINITELY THINK OF MAKING COMMERCE SECTION A CO ED ."..

.Little wonder that the gang disappeared.......

 Today Father Jorris is not in this world but his contribution to the Institution of Education in general and Xavier's in particular cannot be over emphasized........

 MAY HIS SOUL REST IN PEACE.......AMEN

LONELINESS

EVERY MAN IS AN ISLAND. In the ultimate analysis ,all of us are lonely,the only difference is that some of us are more conscious of it,whereas others are not.I ,however do not mean physical loneliness.

We may be surrounded by hundreds of people,may be popular in schools and colleges,or we may be beehives surrounded by bees ,but unless we have someone to call our own,some one who can empathize with us;can share our joys and emotions or experiences,our ideas and and ideals ,we are still lonely.The degree to which a person is susceptible to loneliness is directly proportional to the persons intelligence and his refusal to conform to traditional values.

Loneliness is dangerous.Loneliness can totally distort both general approach to life and relationship with near and dear ones.It induces sense of possessiveness and envy.It fosters parasitical relationships,the keynote of which is deadening emotional dependency upon each other.It makes you unsure of yourself ,it saps your confidence ,it inhibits action.Unless we learn to cope with loneliness it can have very grave consequences .Some of the heinous crimes like rape,murder etc.,are committed due to the state of LONELINESS.

There is no magic wand by which we can get rid of the state of loneliness.We have to learn and endeavour to accept the life,its difficulties and problems at its face value,and learn to tackle them rather than quail before them.

Stop brooding over the matter and develop a sense of humour and become gregarious souls .

NO ONE IS FREE FROM THIS STATE BUT WISDOM LIES IN TACKLING SUCH STATE WITH CLEVER SENSE OF HUMOUR AND UNDERSTANDING....THAT IS THE WAY TO HAPPINESS...

My dear co bloggers the intention of the above blog is not to give sermon but believe it or not this was something which I had scribbled in my diary during my school days and my daughter got it and she brought it to my notice after such a long time.... I owe it to her