Speech-Less

                           

                        
Speech Giving Has Never Been My Forte`.

But then no one asks me to give speeches,so to begin this blog with the caveat as above is redundant.

Who in their right mind would take such a big risk? (Of Inviting Me)

But I love listening to speeches,especially the ones that you get to listen to during the speech seasons,(May-June) when the academic sessions come to an end and the youth starts graduating from one class to other/or when you see the making of Doctors,Engineers,MBAs .

Now,these Academic Institutes have a way to deliver degrees to the students,with lectures from high and mighty for the one last time before they arrive in the realm of everyday humdrum of their lives.

The Speakers are usually Politicians/Bureaucrats/CEO of Business houses,depending on the standing such Institutes have in the Public Arena.

The Idea of this blog is not to bisect what they say during such lectures but to give a birds eye view of what I think of the speeches they deliver; in a sense a feedback to all those who have taken upon their shoulders to LECTURE the FUTURE GENERATION.

Here are my two bits  :

Let me Begin with the Politicians:

Sir,Namaste Ji.Tea ? Coffee ? No ? Okay...We all were really impressed with your speech in which spent approximately 50% of your time invoking the great deeds done by our great leaders,Mahatma Gandhi,Nehru Ji and others,quoted them extempore.How they all fought to gain the freedom for this country.We were all also impressed when you said that you have immense faith in the YOUTH of this Nation.

Impressed.

Our egos bloated.You want us all to work for the good of this Country.

Fine.

But when we step into the realm of this world we see nothing moving.Politics is just strict NO NO since our forefathers or for that matter,our fathers were never ever remotely connected to anything Political.

Unless and until we have two generations wholly ingrained in the Business of Politics, we are disqualified to serve this nation with the education degrees we hold so reverently.

Your sugar coated pious sermons fall flat in the face of the reality which you all have collectively created to suit your own selfish ends.

You also failed to inform us,Sir,that Nephews and Sons-in-Laws play an important part in decision making and it is they and only they who are eligible to increase their net worth by 5000% in flat 5 years and without any sort of help from even God Almighty.

All Banana.No Republic

Your speech disheartened us Sir,but we"ll still offer you that Tea, Sir.

I am truly disappointed to invoke Mark Twain,but shall do so nonetheless:

"It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them"

Bureaucrats:

Thank you,Sir,for being in time to deliver the speech which your two undersecretaries prepared burning the midnight lamp while you were busy discussing the Industrial Policy of the nation in some posh Gymkhana Club over Single malt Whisky and Reshmi Kababs. We appreciate your time and genuine concern to address us all newbies who are going to take over the mantle of this country,some as doctors,engineers,entrepreneurs.

We all loved the topic of ethic and integrity which you invoked in your speech. You liberally quoted the virtues of punctuality and hard work.We also loved the way you felt about how the Corruption is eating into the very fiber of this country and has been all pervasive.We also were impressed to hear that how a YOUNG INDIA can work wonders if and only if there is genuine try for doing what you love to do best. (A la 3 Idiot style).You also highlighted the fact that how widespread entrepreneurship helps in creating millions of Jobs this country badly needs.

Blah Blah Blah

*SLOW CLAP*

But Sir,as you are truly engrossed in your day to work,and since the mantle of the whole ministry revolves around you and you also have to take care of that *EXTRA* curricular activity that your Mantriji wants you to do (Like checking whether mantriji's wife got right car for her shopping and whether his son who checked at the discotheque last night is back home safely without molesting a girl or two, you have possibly missed a point or two ..

Let me take this opportunity to remind you what all u missed:

You missed telling us all that how many applications will you require in triplicate for a simple work license that we need to start a simple industry.You also missed telling us that "Single Window Clearance" was a concept initiated by some Over Enthusiast Babu while he was in an inebriated state and was overwhelmed by his desire to please the foreign investors,but in effect when translated into Hindi it means that "you all are morons that nothing moves unless the palms are greased sufficiently"

You also missed giving us the "Rate Card" for different work and the indefinite time limit that your ministry takes since the said application has to be vetted by at least three undersecretaries and their peons and at least two cats and dogs of mantriji who are *expert* in all things under the Sun.And that each one's opinion has a price tag.

We are disheartened again, Sir,

Much as I would love not to invoke Dale Carnegie,I am forced to do so Sir,with a heavy heart.

"There are always three speeches, for every one you actually gave. The one you practiced, the one you gave, and the one you wish you gave"

You Fail Us All.Sir.

And Finally the CEO of a hugely Successful Family Run Business:

Respected Sir,You've been our role models from the day we started scribbling A B C D in our nursery classes. We've read about you all that is available there and how you started your work from a scratch and today are at the helm.A truly Rags to Riches story.

You in your speech delved mostly on professional work ethics and how the birth of an individual in a particular family is not important but only the hard work and will to succeed is important.

We also heard you say that the Future of this country is in our hands.

How if we apply our brains properly sky is the limit.

But in your enthusiasm,here's what you missed out:

You failed to inform us all how your great grandfather groomed your dad and you in turn your son who shall be the future CEO of your company,who is busy doing his MBA in some fancy University in Timbuktu and is getting his apprenticeship done in some Las Vegas Casino.

You failed to inform us names with detailed telephone nos of your bed-fellows,who all helped you getting those lucrative contracts for peanuts while you kept their coffers brimming.You also failed to inform us that "money and milk of human kindness do not gel well"

What we all needed,Sir,was a trick or two to circumvent the ways to get the things done,that I am sure is nowhere in the course books.

In Indian Context,Sir we all feel that there should be a full-fledged chapter on it of 100 Marks.

You disappointed us all Sir....

Much as I would not like to invoke Mahatma Gandhi,Sir,but deem it necessary to do so.

"We do not need to proselytise either by our speech or by our writing. We can only do so really with our lives. Let our lives be open books for all to study"

Apart from the above some minute inadvertent hiccups, over all the speeches were all good and we are all very sure that it will make us all good human beings...

Maybe, next year around you will be more forthright and true to your own selves.

Or Else the said academic institutes may think of calling a Rakhi Sawant or a Tushar Kapoor to give the speeches.Won"t know about the contents but at least they will be HONEST...

Thank You all Sirs,Once Again.

You all make us and our country proud...

Sincerely Yours...